forever gone....I think not.

I am 6 yrs out from my accident. And like a bonehead I scheduled a major surgery 3 weeks before the 6th year anniversary. I'll post about my progress later. I am stuck in bed and should write about it.

So, I have a total of  thirteen more working days until I retire. I am young and have a lot of living to do, art to make and lives to touch. My boss at work Rudy Ronovan refuses to assign or ask me to do any work and then she accuses me of not being productive. I have been at the job for thirty years, ten years longer than my best friend was alive, longer than any relationship I've ever had.  The only thing I've known longer is my family and I love my family. The job is an abusive relationship and I know that without it I wouldn't have what I do but I took beatings often to get through thirty years.

The good news is that Rudy does not nor does the job define who I am! I have figured out that I am a strong leader, I am smart, and I am WOMAN! And this song sums up how I feel.

“I am woman, hear me roar” by  Helen Reddy and Ray Burton

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again
Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
You can bend but never break me
‘Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul
Oh, yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin’ arms across the land
But I’m still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand
Oh, yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

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I can sum almost anything up with a song

So I am getting ready to retire. I 44 more days to actually work but 8 weeks of calendar time left. I have a plan for my retirement and that is to live opposite of how I have lived the first half of my life. I need to make a promise to myself to work on my health, to be kinder and gentler with myself. I want to create art, lawn bowl, have friends and spend time with my family. That being said all I thought about was hearing Angela Bofill's sweet voice singing "this time I'll be sweeter, I won't let you down, have faith in me, have faith in me...."

Angela Bofill 

This Time I'll Be Sweeter 

Darling can't you see 
What losing you has done to me 
Im not the same girl i used to be 
Have a change of heart 
Don't leave me standing in the dark 
Don't let confusion keep us apart 
Come back to me and i'll guarantee 
All the tenderness and love you'll ever need 
(Chorus) 
This time i'll be sweeter 
Our love will run deeper 
I won't mess around 
I won't let you let down 
Have faith in me 
Have faith in me 
Since you've been away 
I haven't seen the light of day 
Im lost without you can't find my way 
So won't you please be fair 
And let me show how much i care 
Say you'll be mine and answer my prayer 
Come back to me 
And I promise I'll be 
Everything's that bright 
And new your whole life through 
Songwriters: GUTHRIE, GWENDOLYN